Marie's Journey

What an amazing day we had at the memorial!!!

I am thinking that there are not a lot of people that can say that!

We felt so blessed and carried in prayer.

The service was everything that we wanted it to be, full of memories and love and bringing honour to God!

Here is a link to a site that has the memorial on it!

Technology today is awesome… we are so happy that those of you that missed that day are going to have the chance to still experience it!

http://northview.org/marie_ratzlaff

We have all felt an overwhelming sense of Love and Support through this entire journey!

Vic would like to take this chance to say a little something to you all…..

THE DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MARIE AS DESCRIBED BY TARA BROUGHT OUT NEARLY EVERY EMOTION IN ALL OF US!

AS DEATH WAS EMINENT MY APPREHENSION FOR THE PLANNING OF THE MEMORIAL WAS HEAVY ON ME… I DREADED THAT DAY.

HOWEVER, TO MY UTTER AMAZEMENT I FOUND THAT DAY TO BE UNLIKE ANYHTING THAT I COULD HAVE IMAGINED!

I WAS FILLED WITH JOY AND COMFORT AS WE FOUND OURSELVES TRULY CELEBRATING MARIE’S LIFE.

MARIE AND I WERE INTIMATELY IN LOVE FOR OVER 47 YEARS.

THE FIRES STARTED BURNING IN THE SUMMER OF ’63 AND IN SOME WAYS WAS EVEN HOTTER NOW IN THE BEGINNING OF 2011.

I WILL MISS THE LOVING WARM SMILE SHE WOULD GIVE ME EVEN WHEN MY EYES WERE FILLED WITH TEARS,

MY RESOLVE WAS TO PASS THAT SMILE ON TO OTHERS, ESPECIALLY AT MARIE’S MEMORIAL!

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!

LOVE VIC…

please continue to pray for him as the journey ahead will have many ups and downs I am sure!!!

We just wanted to let all of you know the details about the Memorial for Marie….

 

It will be held at

Northview Community  Church on Downes Rd.

it will be at 11:00AM

there will be a reception to follow in center court…

 

There is an opportunity for some people to help out in the prep of the food for the reception. The church is able to provide enough people to help out, they just mentioned to us that there may be some people that would like to be able to help out in this way, feel free to comment if you are interested or you can email me at tararatzlaff@yahoo.com also.

We are all looking forward to celebrating Marie’s life with you all….. see you on Thursday!

This morning at 4:30AM, Marie took her last few slow breathes and entered the kingdom of heaven in peace!!!!

We are sure that many of you have been wondering and waiting to hear from us about Marie….

This indeed has been a long week and at times felt like a long journey but one that was full of JOY and sadness and is ready to be told!

Sunday was an amazing day… Marie was able to have some amazing time with the grandkids….

this is the kids first encounter with death, we explained to them what was going on and then they went for their last visit with grandma.

We were not sure how they would take it or even how much they would understand, but the most amazing part with them, was their excitement and curiosity about heaven and the fact that Grandma was going there!

My girls through the week have made many comments to all of the amazing caregivers they have had…some of them are…

Grandma is going to have so much FUN in heaven…

Did you know that you CANNOT frown in heaven!

The rest of our day on Sunday was filled with all of Marie’s siblings having a one on one time with her!

I can easily say that every single person that walked out of that room felt blessed and in aw of Marie.

Through all of her pain and all that she was facing, not once did I hear her complain,

Not once did I hear her make a negative comment!

We as a family spent from morning to night there at the hospital and Vic and Lloyd slept there every night so that she was never alone.

We talked and laughed and cried and planned and just had a time full of unity and joy and rejoicing!

Marie was on her way to see JESUS!!!

Every morning we would pick up timmy’s and on Tuesday morning, after a hard night where we thought that maybe this was it, Marie woke up and asked for a French Vanilla from Timmy’s, we think that she wanted to be part of the fun!

All day Tuesday she was still awake and we were still having great comunication with her.

Remember, the doctor’s told us on Saturday that Marie had 2-3 days and this was now day 3!!!!!!!!

As the day progressed we were starting to see a change, Marie stopped drinking and we stopped the fluids through her IV because her organs were starting to shut down

and so the fluid was building up and starting to make her feel uncomfortable.

By late Tuesday night we had to make the choice about whether we were going to leave or not…

not wanting to leave and have her pass, but we agreed to go home and get some sleep, and the nurses were going to call us if they were noticing a change and thought things were happening…

So Colleen and Shane and I left for home while the guys stayed with Marie.

We had just got into bed and the phone rang… the nurses were calling us back!

We raced back, thinking this is it… she was going to leave us and be healed and free….

But little did we know what kind of a trooper we had on our hands and what awesome things God had in store for us!!!

We all spent the night there, trying to get some sleep and just waiting!

Well, Wednesday morning came and still nothing, Marie had gone into a coma but was still hanging on!

So we went about our day in the life of a family in the palliative care, waiting and caring for our Mom.

We were all sooooo tired from our night before and were starting to feel quite drained and  thought we were finished with our time with being able to talk to Marie….

The doctors and nurses said that this is common, they go into a coma and they just pass away, from all the toxins that were running through her body.

At 4:oopm, Marie WOKE UP!!!!!

For just over an hour we were able to talk to Marie and she was able to talk to us, not many words as her throat was so dry by she pushed out the important ones!

You could imagine our surprise and wonder over this!

We told her that we loved her and she was able to say it back,

she asked for Shane 2 times… we laughed about that later, wondering if she was actually calling for our Shane or for one of our unreal nurses ,Shayne, that had sat with her and cared for her through the night!

She was making us laugh with her clear responses to some of our questions!

At one point we were all telling her how amazing she was doing, how she was a trooper, how she had so much energy and was surprising us all and all of a sudden

she shimmied her shoulders,

she had barely moved in days and now she was moving her whole upper body!

I asked her if she was sprouting her wings and she looked at us and said YES!!!!!

It was the most incredible and the cutest thing that I have ever seen!

At one point she was looking just past all of us, she said she could see, Colleen said, are you seeing Jesus?

She said, I SEE HIM…WOW!!!!!

There were tears to say the least!

After that, we could communicate a bit with her with her nodding her head or squeezing her eyes but she never really talked again.

What a BLESSING to have had that time and we all really felt revived and overwhelmed, thinking we had just witnessed a MIRACLE!

Through the next few days… there were many moments where we were sure this was it.. we were rushing to her bedside, crying, rejoicing telling her it was ok to go, but once again, Marie and God had other plans!!!

The giddiness started to kick in, the laughter that we experienced was quite overwhelming at times, thinking about how we could totally see this as a Seinfeld episode….

we just kept saying…

Come on, she is like the energizer bunny and she is wearing us out!

But wasn’t that Marie, slow and steady, and certainly ready to win the race…

And indeed she did!!!

But as Colleen and I had many beautiful times talking together and reflecting about all that had been happening,

we really felt like this was all part of it, experiencing the ups and the downs…

I blame Marie for our freedom to feel the laughter and to think it was okay during this time,

she was the one that started it all….

she had us in stitches with some of the hilarious things that she said…i’ll share some..

On Tuesday night, Vic went to Marie and asked her if he should take her ring and keep it for her, at first she said yes,then she paused and said..

actually, no, I don’t want anybody hitting on me!!!!

On Saturday she had said to us, oohhh, I’m going to be crying for 2 days(we had been reminding her about how she has barely shed a tear!)….

so 2 days later we were sitting with her and I said to her… you haven’t been crying yet and we are and you said you would be crying for 2 days straight! she said…

I never said which 2 days!!!!!

There were many other little moments like that….

as I think about it I am reminded of the saying…

THE JOY IS IN THE JOURNEY!

There has been much Joy is this journey that we have taken this last week!

And I am 100% certain that this is because Jesus was alive and living in Marie’s Heart and in our lives as well.

How lucky were we to have hope and joy and peace during this time where we could have been filled with sorrow and doubt and bitterness!

Praise the Lord!!!!

Last night was our last night with her, we once again said our goodbyes, felt the peace that was radiating from Marie and headed home trusting that God had a plan and was in control with His divine timing….

As Lloyd slept and Vic sat with Marie, the two of them had there last moments together,

as Vic sat with his woman and held her hand, she left this earth and left Vic’s hand and grabbed onto another…..

I think that that was a beautiful ending to a beautiful life and a beautiful beginning to a beautiful new life!!!!

 

 

For all of you that have walked this journey with us, we cannot tell you how much we have appreciated it.

The love and prayers that we felt covering us during this time was inexplicable!

Thank-You….

 

For the UNBELIEVABLE nurses in the palluitive care unit that walked with us through this journey too,

you have a special place in our hearts and memory from this time…

you all have a God given gift to do this job and we were blessed to have you,

Thank-you for being respectful of us and Marie, for your loving and caring and gentle spirits, for your listening ears and understanding ways…

Thank-you!

 

SO…

now we have our next journey ahead of us, planning a memorial where we are going to

CELEBRATE everything that Marie is and was to us…

please pray for the strength that we will need to get it all together….

as of right now, the memorial will be at Northview church on Thursday, January 20th….

I will post all the rest of the details as soon as I know them….

Looking forward to seeing you all there and Rejoicing together!

Love you all, Love from…

Vic

Shane and Colleen, Denae and Ryan

Lloyd and Tara, Kaia and Reese

and

Marie!

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Well, this will probably end up being one of the most difficult updates that I will have to be giving you.

Marie has had a very hard week, she has not been feeling well at all and her poor body is just fighting so much!

Over the last two days, she has been in considerably more pain.

This morning she woke up from a nap she had been having in serious pain, to the point where she was feeling delirious from it and was not even able to walk.

Vic called for an ambulance and for the better part of the day, Vic and Marie and Lloyd and Colleen waited to hear from the doctor.

When they finally heard from him, it was not good news.

The tumours have perforated her bowel.

Basically there are toxins and poison that are seeping into her body.

Because of all of the tumours that are plaguing Marie’s abdomen, the doctor felt like it would be difficult for them to reach this area through surgery and even if they did,

Marie has a high chance of not making it through the surgery or not really being with it and only adding a few more days to live.

So the four of them together decided that she would not have the surgery.

With this, the doctor has said that she only has 2-3 days to live.

This is a very difficult thing to hear as you can imagine.

There have been many tears but we have been able to spend a nice evening together.

God is amazing!!!

Marie is amazing!!!!

She has a huge smile on her face and seems so peaceful.

She will be with Jesus soon and for this we are thankful.

I just sat and marvelled at how someone facing this could be doing so well.

I know that it is because of the faith and assurance that we have in knowing God and what she is about to enter into.

So, we will be taking the last bit of time to be together and to celebrate Marie’s life and journey.

Because of what little time that we have left, we are asking for this time alone with her as a family.

I know that this will be hard and sad for a lot of you, Marie will have her cell phone with her tomorrow and she will probably love to be able to say goodbye.

Please pray for Vic as this is a very hard time for him, he is losing the love of his life and it will be heartbreaking.

Please pray for Shane and Colleen and Lloyd and I as we prepare for the grandkids to go and have their last visit with Grandma tomorrow morning.

She has been such an amazing Grandma to these kids and they are all going to miss her so.

Pray that God will help their little minds and their little hearts find understanding and peace.

I will post one last blog when Marie is healed and dancing with Jesus…..

 

 

Well, I just have to start off by saying happy new year’s to everyone!!!

Things have really been up and down for Marie over the last few weeks, she has had some really good days but has also had some of her worst.

Marie got the stomach flu which is horrible for a normal healthy body to handle, never mind one that is fighting this awful disease.

It was so hard to see Marie have to go through this flu and how much of a tole it took on her.

But of course, Marie being Marie, dealt with everything with an amazing attitude and spirit!

She is truly an inspiration to see her face all these trying times with such a positive demeanour!

We could all take a few lessons from her!!!

After finally getting over the flu, there have been little things here and there that have been bothering Marie.

But, we were able to get together for Christmas and celebrate together and have a good heart to heart about all that we are facing.

A few days later, Marie had all of her siblings over for a Christmas meal….

those amazing woman sure know how to take care of someone!

I am sure that Marie loved every minute and was so thankful for them and their time together.

This last week has been hard on Marie though physically.

Her stomach has grown so much and the pressure is so great, that it has become a real concern as Marie has started to have a hard time breathing.

Obviously, this is a major concern that she is facing.

On Thursday, Marie went for her next chemo treatment. After talking to the doctor and explaining how uncomfortable Marie has been feeling,

through the grace of God,

they were able to squeeze her in before her chemo treatment to drain off some of the fluid.

They drained 4 LITRES!!!!!!!!!

That is unreal to me! But I was so happy to hear that Marie was feeling relief and actually was able to get some food down.

So now she is home again with another chemo treatment under her belt.

So far she is feeling ok from it.

Yesterday Marie was concerned that she was starting to get another bladder infection.

But today she seems to be feeling better and that that might not have been the problem.

So, if you could just pray that these sicknesses can stay away from her poor body, that would be great!

If you have a chance to stop by, give Marie a call and I am sure that she would love to see you and I am sure that you will be inspired by her attitude.

We hope that you all had a great Christmas with your families and friends.

Thanks for the continued support and love you are sending our way!

 

Yesterday Marie went for her second chemo treatment.

The timing is good for this, Marie and I were just talking about how she will have time to recover from it and be able to be feeling good for Christmas!

I am happy to report that she is once again feeling good.

She had little sleep last night for some reason, she wasn’t in pain or nauseated, she was just having a hard time sleeping.

The doctor examined Marie’s stomach and told her that he thought that there was little fluid in her stomach and that more of it is tumours.

But he also told her that she should be feeling or being able to tell that the tumours are going down in size.

He was not specific as to when or how much, just that she should notice a difference.

Marie also saw a nutritionist and she was told that she is supposed to eat everything she can get her hands on and lots of it.

Marie has lost some weight in the last few months and it sounds like they would like her to be gaining some of it back.

Lucky for Marie, Christmas is coming! The food and treats will be in abundance!!!!

Marie continues to be in good spirits!

We are all getting ready for Christmas, this is a time to think about all the blessings in our lives and all that God has given us… we all have much to be thankful for!

We as a family will cherish this time and make lots of memories together!

Thanks to all that have been visiting Marie and bringing her meals and just being encouraging to her in many sorts of ways, you can see just how much it means to her when she has told me about it!

Merry Christmas to all of you, from all of us!!

 

This past weekend Marie ended up in the hospital as I told you in the last update.

She stayed there until Monday night and was released so that she was able to go to her next chemo appointment on Tuesday morning.

While Marie was in the hospital the doctor ran a bunch of tests to see how things are looking.

I am thankful to report that no other major organs have been infiltrated by the cancer. This is very good news.

Marie has a “pocket” of fluid build up in her upper stomach area. This fluid has increased quite a bit. The doctors are not able to drain this because the risk of infection is too great right now.

They also saw in the ct scan that there is a small pocket of fluid building up under her right lung also. The doctor did not seem to indicate that this is an area of concern at all right now.

So Vic and Marie headed to North Vancouver on Tuesday for her appointment.

The doctor there told them that he did not want to give her the treatment because of the infection that she had over the weekend. Her system was in too weak of a state to do it.

Marie is scheduled to have her next appointment on the 7th of December and should receive her next chemo treatment then.

Marie continues to have a great attitude and is taking everything in stride…. we are very proud of her for how well she handles all of the bumps in the road that come her way….

So last night Marie had another fever. Vic brought her into the hospital last night and they were able to determine that she has an infection in the bladder.

They changed her catheter so she is much more comfortable, which is nice to hear for Marie, it has really been bothering her…

Tonight Marie has already received one pint of blood and they are about to give her another pint. She will also be receiving antibiotics at midnight tonight.

They were also able to see from the blood work that her kidneys are not functioning well at all right now. It looks like things have gotten worse.

Again, this is why Vic and Marie are hoping that they will be able to get in earlier then January for the procedure I mentioned before.

Tomorrow, Marie will be getting an ultrasound and then she is scheduled for a ct scan on Monday.

Her doctor is hoping to be able to see how things have progressed since a month and a half ago when the first one was done.

Marie is supposed to go in to North Vancouver on Tuesday for her appointment with her oncologist and is likely to receive her next chemo treatment….

I will keep you posted as we find things out… thanks once again for your support and prayers, we all appreciate it.

 

I thought that it was time for a little update on Marie.

It has been a few weeks now since her first chemo treatment and she is doing well.

Last week Marie went and saw her urologist, the one who put the stints in…

Marie has been having a lot of discomfort with the bladder area.

The doctor has her scheduled for January to have a procedure done where he will be able to assess the situation better,

he will be seeing how the cancer has spread in the bladder and the general shape that it is in.

Vic and Marie are really hoping that an appointment will become available earlier, so that would be a prayer request.

Last week Marie had to go in for some blood work and on Friday morning, they got a phone call telling them that Marie needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible,

her haemoglobin and white blood cell counts were dangerously low.

They got to the hospital in North Vancouver where Marie received 2 bags of blood.

Marie was feeling much better after this.

Saturday was Marie’s birthday!

She had lots of visitors and had a great day…

we had a bit of a scare though, she did develop a higher grade fever and with her condition, this is reason for concern, it did go down though, so she did not have to go to the hospital.

On Sunday the family got together to celebrate Marie’s birthday with her. The pictures are from that time with Grandma!!!!

So we will wait for her next chemo appointment and go from there….

thanks for all the support, love and prayers…

So, on Monday, Marie had her first session of chemo.

I have wanted to wait a few days to see how she was feeling before I let you all know how she has been feeling.

I am happy to say that so far Marie has been feeling ok.

They gave her IV nausea medicine before her treatment and she has had no signs of nausea so far.

Last night she had a hard night, for some reason, she was just not able to sleep.

But today, she managed to have a nap and Vic and Marie went out for a walk,

so I am hoping that she will be able to have a good night’s sleep.

Marie will be having 6 sessions of chemo. Her next appointment will be on the 16th of November with her oncologist and they are trying to arrange it that she will be having her next chemo appointment then also.

Esther has just asked me to remind you about the care calendar,so if you to help out, that would be great!

www.carecalendar.org

CALENDAR ID      :   53109
SECURITY CODE :   7220